Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Re-connect ~ Re-kindle ~ Restore

Nicole and husband at Crabtree Falls, VA

Summer time can be a very busy time. Work, kid activities, family trips, family and friend visits, the list goes on. The busyness can put a strain on couples financially and emotionally. This is the time when some couples lose connection. Create balance by spending one on one time with your significant other.

My summer involved lots of travel both for work and leisure. Juggling the activities of three kids, time for myself, time with friends, family and fulfilling demanding work schedules have tested my 18 year marriage. I'm a firm believer of date night. It's my time to connect with my husband and spark a bit of romance. Lately, it's been time to catch up with schedules, finances and discuss work.  I'm the family planner and because of frustration and loss of connection, I've felt overwhelmed from all the planning. I decided that it was time for hubby to plan a date night.

My husband is not a simple guy and I asked for something simple where we could spend some time to just talk about us. His plan was a movie and then we walked and talked. It was simple but still something was missing. To my surprise, that was merely the appetizer. The main course was a weekend getaway in the Blue Ridge mountains in Virginia.  My husband realized that we were in dire need of connection, so in addition to date night, he planned hiking, wine tasting, peach picking and enjoying each others company.  It was exactly what we needed. Time alone to talk, listen and time to spark a connection.  One thing we agreed upon was that even though time away is great and necessary for us, we need to steal time during our day to make loving gestures to each other.  We need a daily reminder that we love and care about each other. Realistically, this may not occur daily, but putting it into practice and being aware that little things mean alot is the first step to re-connecting. In Redbook magazine, Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. suggested  asking yourself: 'What one little thing can I do to make this person happy today?' [It can be something as little as bringing a cup of coffee with just the right amount of milk or calling during the day to say, "I'm thinking about you."]

Make your marriage a priority. Don't use busyness as an excuse for lack of time for your spouse. Schedule time. The following chart is a list from Dr. Phil that can get you on the right path to re-connecting with the one you love. Be patient, be humble, be open and embrace your journey.


1 comment:

  1. Well deserve getaway. Life gets overwhelming @ times but it is equally important to keep the connection and share our feeling with each other. Thanks for the reminder scheduling a date night now.