My son has been gone all summer, so that has caused me to adjust my summer expectations and experience. He was surely missed even though we spoke almost daily. I must accept my life in moments. We were able to spend some time with him in NYC and I remained present and lived in that moment. Seeing him with his siblings is always a joy to witness and those moments I treasure dearly.
With tears clouding my vision and flowing down my cheeks I think about the special moments I shared with my daughter during her summer break. We travelled to Tobago and had a wonderful time together. That was very special for both of us. Once back home, we spent some days laying in bed and I listened as she shared her feelings and thoughts. Some brought tears while others caused us to laugh uncontrollably. These tender moments I will treasure for eternity. I consider myself blessed to have children who enjoy spending time with their parents. It's been an amazing summer and it's tough for me to accept that it's almost over and its time for her to leave. Will saying goodbye ever get easier? Perhaps not. However, I look forward to the time we will spend together when she returns. I'm living my life not just in motion, but also, in moments.
I learned so much from her this summer, it felt like school was in session for me. My son, though not physically present during most of summer, has also taught me a great deal. Im learning to let go and not hover too much. They have the tools necessary to make decisions, and if they need help, they always ask. Yet, I hover.....I'm a work in progress. He gently reminds me with his response, "Mum, I got this." Now instead of feeling rejected, I feel proud that he's confident and well adjusted and capable of making good decisions and learning from the dumb ones. I'm still awaiting his ability to keep his room clean and organized. One step at a time I suppose.
Pretty soon these physical moments will lessen. They both have lives they're building for themselves. They're creating their future just as their dad and I created ours. I'm thankful that we always stay connected. They call often and share laughs and solve issues via group text and calls. Some calls may take place at 2:00am and that's okay. I'm always available to listen no matter the hour. College is preparing me for when they go out on their own to live the life that they were born to live. So as I prepare to spend the remaining days with them, I will be sure to remain present as I create memories and enjoy every moment with them and their little brother whom God gave me to love and cherish. He knew I'd need another during this adjustment. I can't imagine having to go through this one more time. But I'm not going to think about that now. I'm living my life in moments...present moments.
So for those who might be experiencing anxiety about your kids leaving the nest; be present, be patient, be gentle with yourselves and live your life in moments as you embrace your journey.