During her senior year, I cried often. Every time I looked at her, the years flashed before me and I would reminisce of the 3 year old who decided she wasn't going to take instructions from her mummy. She was very willful. However, I never wanted to break her, I just needed to help her navigate and channel her willful energies. Those were very tough years. In addition to a very strong willed toddler, my husband was granted custody of his 12 year old daughter and we became a blended family. It required an adjustment for everyone. So instead of losing our minds, my husband and I chose to get professional counselling. What a difference it made! Fast forward to her tween years....O how I don't miss those years. She was quick at the tongue and had an answer for EVERYTHING! But that too passed and we survived!
Even though I know that we will adjust to our new life, it doesn't stop me from grieving her absence. It would be abnormal of me not to grieve her absence. We are a very close knit family. We do everything together. We even struggled together during the downturn in the economy. We were very open with our kids. They shared in the sacrifice and never once complained. To be honest, I think that struggle brought us closer and more appreciative and loving towards each other. Our love isn't perfect but it is OUR LOVE! So even though I feel like a part of my heart has been ripped out, I know that time will ultimately heal me. I accept that the dynamics of my home has changed. We miss our son (the hype man) as well. It makes me sad when my 10 year old goes to his sister's room to read and his brother's room to workout. That's his way of connecting. He misses them terribly as well. But life goes on and before you know it, they'll be back home for the holidays.