Sex after Motherhood



Lover's Silhouhette

Photo Credit: Dandy Man

Before kids, most couples couldn't keep their hands off each other. Sex occured often. Then came the beautiful kids and husbands are left unsure of an appropriate approach. The breasts he once caressed have become the baby's 'all you can eat' buffet. The sexy negligee became flannel and whatever she can grab to sleep in. The once designated date night has turned into PTA meetings and the late night 'sex-capade' is non existent. In the real world the average parents are over worked, physically exhausted, anxious and stressed. Sadly, sex has become an afterthought.

There are so many life interruptions that cause intimacy to be placed on hold. The little one wants to sleep with you. Mom can't get into it because the kids may hear. Mom does not feel sexy and does not have the desire. Trust issues in your relationship. The long list of 'things to do' is running through your mind and you are completely disconnected. Hormones running wild after birth, work schedule, fear of pregnancy and the list goes on. Whatever the interruption, it's best to be honest and deal with it directly. 

Sexual intimacy is necessary to a healthy relationship. It's important that couples connect and share intimate moments. Having children should not mark the end of intimacy with your husband. Explore your sexuality. Sex is natural and you should never be ashamed to find ways to rekindle the sex in your marriage. Most of us go through different phases of motherhood and sometimes we hit a dry spell. Try some of the following suggestions to get your 'mojo' back.

• Schedule time alone to talk and build connection
• Exercise. Endorphins heighten your sexuality
• Sexy lingerie makes you feel sexy. Get some
• Be affectionate. Kiss him often
• Get a sitter and schedule regular date nights
• If you have older kids, let them know a closed door means mom and dad time. Stay out!
• Go to bed early in preparation for pre-dawn love making. It's a great day starter. 
• Seek professional advise, if necessary.
• Pray for a healthy intimate relationship

The bible can be a source of help. Song of Solomon has beautiful imagery about the joys and heartaches of  wedded love. Read it. Develop a friendship with God.  Engage Him in an ongoing conversation and make Him the center of your relationship. A healthy, intimate relationship is the foundation of a strong family. Intimacy is built on love and trust. Bring balance into your life. Be trustworthy, be affectionate, be sexy, be prayerful and embrace your journey.