Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Not....happily ever after

Growing up we dreamed of getting married and living 'happily ever after'. The latter was the dream! Somewhere between the vows, the job and the children someone forgot to mention...hard work. There are many people who are in shock that the fairytale does not exist. Luckily, I'm not one of them.

I got married to a man who brings me breakfast in bed and gets the kids ready and drive them to school. Shops at exquisite stores for me. He checks in with me throughout my day and sometimes calls just to say he loves me. This man even tells me that I'm sexy and that he loves my body! This man leads our family in prayer and prays with me some nights. However, this is the same man who keeps the toilet seat up, walks out and over his clothes. This is the same man who looks at me strangely(pursing his lips to argue) when I come home with multiple shopping bags. Yes, the same man who criticizes my business and family decisions...then adopt them. The one who complains about having a housekeeper...meanwhile he hires a landscaper! This is the man I married because he cooked.....then we got married and he complained that I didn't! He's also the man who takes the milk out the refridgerator and leaves it out. Yes! It's the same man!

You see no one told me that it would be a fairytale, but I didn't think it would be this labor intensive! I have felt so many emotions being married to this man. I've felt love, desire, hurt, anger, passion, overwhelmed, happy, sad, disappointed, dizzy and confused. Amidst all my emotions, I've felt love the most. Our union is not perfect but it's worth the hard work. Just before our 10 year mark we went through very rough patches, but we've healed and we've grown.  I believe that if two people are committed to each other and their relationship, that they can overcome most things. However, both must be committed.  God is very present in our marriage. I pray for my husband daily.......sometimes twice daily if he irritated me. I've learned to listen and be more patient.  I encourage and support him in all his endeavors....I'm his loudest cheerleader and he is mine. I feel confident that he's 'got my back' and would always protect me. I feel safe when I'm in his arms. Though I don't depend on him to make me happy, I'm happy when I'm with him and we enjoy spending time together.

I'm thrilled that we've grown to appreciate and respect each other's boundaries especially when we disagree. He makes me laugh even when I'm angry. He's one of the funniest men I know and I love him. He's a loving husband, dedicated provider and an outstanding father.  As we embark upon our 17th year of marriage, I embrace my husband, my best friend and the love that we share together. This journey is no fairytale but I'm loving it and still hoping that one day he'll remember to put the milk back into the refridgerator!

This book is a helpful aid in communication.


  1. I enjoyed this blog.

  2. I think I'll be reading this blog from now on.
    Well said, well felt. Love it:)
    Congratulations on the anniversary!
    I hope I can get there as well.


  3. Thanks Malaika...glad you enjoyed and thanks for following!

  4. Beautiful! Let throw a fly in the ointment though, by saying that isn't that what the happily ever after is about? The fact that we can look at all the flaws and still see love and acceptance; the fact that we want to continue to do the hard work to make it work. That is a happily ever after.

  5. I guess you have a point there Greta! LOL Thanks for reading!