A timeout for mom

This past week was very challenging for me. One teenager seemed distant while the other seemed dazed and my 5 yr old complained that his sister was being mean towards him. No one was doing chores and I allowed the tension to build and I caved. I allowed myself to cry and release. I was vulnerable. I turned to my husband who, thankfully didn’t roll his eyes, but listened and offered his help. As my husband held me during my meltdown, I realized that my problem was deeper. I felt overwhelmed, disappointed and hurt.


Last week I was trying to understand why chaos had taken up residence in my home. It was time to de-stress and regain control. Then my son sent me an email this morning and it hit me. My children are overwhelmed, too! My daughter is in her final months of 8th grade, which can be very overwhelming. There’s tremendous anxiety associated with these last months. Not to mention, the transition from a very small school (30-8th graders) to a High School whose 9th grade class has approx 120 students. My almost 16 year old son is feeling the pressure of his sophomore year and athletics coupled with the anxiety and stress that comes along with being a teenager. Unfortunately, my 5 year old got caught in the teenage crossfire.

So today I took a timeout. I’ll regroup and get us back on track. I began with a prayer for guidance, counsel and blessings upon my brood. As moms, we sometimes get hung up on our routine and busy schedules and we forget that our children need emotional support. It’s ok for John to miss piano practice because his day was overwhelming. Instead of enforcing practice, stop and listen to what transpired during his day. Schlepping them from one activity to another can cause us to lose sight of what’s really important…..their emotional wellbeing. Do we take time to sit and really listen to what’s going on with them? Are we connected to them? Can we sense when they are not in balance? Are we aware of their anxieties? I need to make more time to listen and connect with my teenagers. They’re older and needs are different. I’ll ask them what is working for them and where they feel improvement is needed. Together with my husband, I’ll help them with stress management and give them the tools they need to get on track. Most importantly, we’ll let them know how much we love them and how proud we are to be their parents.

As you journey through motherhood, take a timeout, reassess your family needs and act upon it. Our children need us to be connected. They need our direction and guidance. Their needs change during different phases. I’m going through a phase change so I’m reassessing. However, some things will remain constant…..my love, my support and the chores!