Smart vs Hardworking kids

Photo credit: Simon A. (age 6)



My husband and I always wrestle with the concept of our kids being intelligent, having high expectations of themselves and working hard.  I have a tendency to smother and I sometimes fear that that could lead to my older son returning home at 30. However, that's another post!  My kids are smart...but do they work hard? I'm not sure what the answer is to that question. I see them doing work and writing papers but are they working at their full potential?  I have a theory for my children. To be successful student athletes they must be disciplined. Balancing sporting activities, a rigorous highschool curriculum and a hectic social life requires discipline and hard work.

We try to instill hard work in our children. However, I never know if they're listening. Their grades are good. Nevertheless, in this competitive world, sometimes good is not enough. I really want them to appreciate hard work and discipline. I want them to work towards accomplishing their goals. I want them to be driven and motivated. Most of all, I want them to be present and enjoy their accomplishments. Can they accomplish this by being smart? Or do they have to work hard?

My husband read recently in the 1st chapter of NurtureShock [The Inverse Power of Praise; "Sure he’s special, but if you tell him that, you’ll ruin him. It’s a nurological fact.”] that if we tell our kids how smart they are they won't work to their full potential and we can ruin them.  Yet another thing for a mom to worry about! Have I already ruined my kids? is it too late? The theory is that kids who are told that they are smart do not put effort into their work. Afterall, they're already smart, there's no need for them to work hard. My kids might already be ruined because I always tell them that they're smart. The book also alludes to the fact that when you praise your kids for their hard work, they continually work hard to accomplish their goals. They understand that their hardwork creates the success. I really wish kids came with a damn manual!

Though teaching hardwork is justifiable, it is my belief that in addition, our children also learn from the examples around them like parents, mentors, coaches, etc. If our children witness that the successful adults around them work hard, they'll be inclined to do the same. When I use the word 'successful', I do not mean wealth. I mean working towards a task and accomplishing it. But I'm no psychologist. This is only my 'mum' opinion.  What do you think? Do you think that it's counter productive to tell our kids that they're smart? Do you agree that hard work 'trumps' being smart? Can a child be both smart and hard working? Please share your thoughts.

All I can hope and pray for is that we 'do right'  while helping shape the minds of our children. I need them to be respectful, law abiding, hardworking, empathetic citizens. That's success. If I accomplish that, then maybe, just maybe, they won't return home when they're 30 and take over the room that was once theirs. Be patient, be supportive, be balanced and embrace your journey.

Spring into health.....let's get glamorous

I received my first make-up kit at the age of 13 from my Aunt Joan. I was ecstatic. I would get as many magazines as I could and look for ways to apply make up. I started out looking like a clown. However, with time and practice, I've mastered the art of make up application.

I use several products like Bobbi Brown, Vincent Longo, Trish McEvoy, Dior, Covergirl, Maybelline and MAC. However, my favorite overall line of cosmetics is Mary Kay. My love for the products and the way the company empowers women inspired me to become a Beauty Consultant. I enjoy making women (especially moms) look and feel beautiful. There's something about a mom who feels confident and beautiful. Whether it's after a facial or makeup application, my moms exude sexiness after being pampered. It's important for moms to allow themselves to look and feel beautiful, It's part of being healthy. A mom that feels good about herself is able to strengthen her mental capacity with the feeling of confidence.  



In order to have healthy skin you must eat balanced meals, drink water and exercise. In addition, you must have a daily cleansing regimen to get radiant, flawless skin. Timewise Miracle set provides 'incredible age-fighting results to help you maintain younger-looking skin'. Healthy skin is the perfect canvas for flawless make-up.

  

All moms deserve to feel beautiful and glamorous. Re-evaluate your look this spring. Try something fresh and new. Ask your girlfriends to help you with your look. Call me if you need a consultant or would like tips and current trends. Change your brushes and throw out expired products. Give yourself a make over and get new and updated products. It's time to get glamorous and let your healthy body exude sexiness with these and other products that work for your skin type. As you journey through motherhood, do it with style, do it with glamour and maintain balance in your life. Be confident, be beautiful, be sexy and embrace your journey. 



Easter.....a time for family



Photo courtesy: Sierra A

Didn't get invited to the White House Easter roll?
Have one of your own and invite friends and neighbors to join in the fun!

Photo: Sack race

2 years ago I hosted an Easter Egg Hunt for 40 kids. A bit elaborate, but fun nonetheless. I purchased approx. 500 plastic eggs and filled them with candy, toys, stickers and tattoos. I divided the hunt space into 2 age groups(that way the younger kids wouldn't get trampled by the older ones). We had games like sack race, egg and spoon, ring toss, etc and tons of prizes. We read the story of the Resurrection and the kids decorated eggs. I even hired the Omelette Chef!



The Omelette Chef

You don't need to be that elaborate to have fun with the kiddies!  Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Purchase plastic eggs and fill them with candy or other favors. Hide the eggs around the house.
• Sit and decorate eggs as a fun activity.
• Read the story of the Resurrection to your child.
• Create an Easter basket with your child.
• Bring out the hoola hoop and see who can do it the longest.
• Bake Easter cookies together

Hoola Hooping contest with my teens (Clearly I lost)



It does not have to be elaborate. The key is to appreciate your family. Find activities that are cost effective and fun. It's not the cost of the activity, it's the time. Spending time with loved ones is precious. Make your Easter weekend memorable by planning something fun for the whole family. Get engaged and connect with your family. Target, Family Dollar, Wal-Mart and other discount and craft stores sell all that you'll need at a reasonable price. It's not too late to embark upon a fun adventure in the comfort of your home!

It is said that the family that prays together, stays together. So plan that fun activity and don't forget to make time for worship with your family this weekend. Be engaged, be connected, be balanced and embrace your journey.

Detox...my unique experience

Photo Credit: Sierra A.

Waterfall at Golden Gate Park - San Francisco

Before starting any new physical, dietary or health and wellness program (eg.detox and colonic) please consult your doctor. This is not a program I recommend. It is a journal of my unique experience in the world of detoxing.

If I could be honest, my reason for detoxing was not to have a cleansing, 'nirvana' experience, but rather to savor the taste of lamb one more time. Four years ago, I gave up meat for Lent and since that time my body has rejected it.  For the first 2 years I accepted it. The latter 2 years have been difficult. I know all the rawfoodists, vegans and health gurus would say that if my body is rejecting it....I don't need it. I know they're right, but I have to make this last effort to see if my body is sure!

Last Monday I embarked upon a detox journey, hoping to be cured and in the process shed a few pounds. This was by far the most difficult detox I had ever been on. I was not mentally prepared and shamelessly used facebook and twitter along with my sister and cousin to garner support.  The first 3 days were extremely difficult. I was  irritable. I craved a burger....a big juicy angus beef burger. I haven't had one of those in years.  Meanwhile, my support system posted pictures of food, recipes and descriptions of meals that were prepared and enjoyed. I never realized how much emphasis is placed on food within the social media arena!
Nevertheless, I hung in there and stayed motivated. I went outside for a walk on my lunch break to avoid the scent that travelled from the office kitchen to my desk. I worked out in the evening so as to not focus on the delicious dinner my mom prepared for my crew. Meanwhile, my dinner was low sodium soup. It felt like torture! Days 5 through 7 I felt great and had a burst of energy. I'm not sure if it was the detox or the thought  of  being closer to a gyro (thinly sliced roasted lamb served in a sandwich of pita bread).
On day 7, I ended my cleansing journey with a Colon Hydrotherapy colonic from Herbal Infusion.  That was really a different experience.

Photo courtesy: Herbal Infusion
Colon Hydrotherapy Machine

My sister read the book 21lbs in 21days~The Martha's Vineyard Diet Detox.We used this for the basis of our detox. We made a few changes for convenience. We bought fresh juices and smoothies on the days we had no time for juicing. Juicing is highly recommended. If you decide to pursue detox, you should purchase a copy of the book and read it before starting and consult your doctor before starting any new diet program.

My detox day
8:00am:

• a shot of high density antioxidant berry drink
• 8ozs of water with a twist of lemon 
• 1 cup hot tea (caffeine free) no sugar or added

10:00am: 

• 8oz glass of fresh orange juice(not from concentrate) w/1 tsp of Kyo-Green
• 1 cup hot herbal tea

12:00noon:

• 1 cup vege juice. I used Green Goodness (13 servings of fruits & veges)
• 8oz bottle water with a twist of lemon 

8 min walk outdoors or climb stairs at work

2:00pm:

• 8 oz bottle water with a twist of lemon
• 8 oz orange juice w/Kyo-Green
• 1 cup hot herbal tea (caffeine free) no sugar added

4:00pm:

• 1 shot high-density antioxidant drink

2 mile run outdoors or 1 hr gym (eliptical machine, treadmill and free weights)


6:30pm:

• 1 cup homemade  cleansing soup
• 1 cup broth from cleansing soup
• 1 cup hot herbal tea
• 8 oz bottle water with a twist of lemon

7:30pm:

• 1 cup Smooth Move (senna) tea. No sugar added
• 1 aloe Vera softgel pill.

Note:

• No salt or sugar is permitted.
• I used Stevia if I needed my senna tea sweetened.
• Dulse was used for flavor in all soups.
• I omitted the herbal cleansing formula that was recommended. 
• I also omitted the enzyme capsule
• I chose to add lemon to my water (it's not necessary)
• Only walking was recommended.
• I did not workout on day 7

Breaking the 7 day detox is very important.


Day 1

• Continue the detox supplements.
• Add a small cup of raw or steamed veges(no dressing) for lunch.
• Add a  small cup of fruit 2 hrs before meals.

Day 2

• Repeat Day 1.
• Add whole grain cereal, whole wheat or brown rice ( I will have oatmeal).

Day 3

• Repeat Day 2.
• Add a fatty acid( I will add flaxseed oil to my veges).
• Add protein(I will have a protein shake).

Day 4

• Repeat Day 3.
• Add other proteins(eggs, soy, nuts, legumes and beans).
• Add 3-4 ozs of boiled, broiled or bake fish and chicken to the diet. Red meat can be added the next day. (I will have broiled salmon). On Easter Sunday.....LAMB.

After going through this rigorous cleansing, I'm both apprehensive and conflicted on eating meat again. If I fail this time, I will submit to my body's needs. However, if I'm successful, I may decide not to eat meat again. At least it'll be my choice this time!

My sis and cousin lost approx 8-9 lbs. I didn't weigh before I started. I don't own a scale. However, I see a drastic weight loss. My clothes are loose and my 'backfat' is almost non visible. My stomach is flat....I could only hope that lasts. Doing a detox requires a major support system. It also requires you to slow down and not rush. Meditation and prayer....lots of it was necessary for me.

I sincerely thank my sis and cousin for their daily support. Especially my sis who would visit me at home to offer her support in person and workout with me. Thank you to my mom who made my soups. I couldn't have done it without you. I love you guys. To my family, facebook friends and twitter followers...you guys rock! Be health smart, be supportive, be in balance and embrace your journey!

Spring into health.....let's get 'bikini' ready

Getting bikini ready requires healthy eating that is delicious and easy to prepare. Susan is the person I turn to for exciting, delicious and fun recipes that will help place me in 'Bikini' mode. Thank you Susan for sending us this delicious recipe!

Chef Susan Irby the Bikini Chef is author of seven books including Substitute Yourself Skinny and Boost Your Metabolism. Susan hosts a weekly radio show, The Bikini Lifestyle with Susan Irby the Bikini Chef, on KABC 790 AM in Los Angeles of which guests include Wolfgang Puck, Venus Williams, Billy Bush, Chef Michael Mina, Chef Ben Ford, and Divya Gugnani of MSNBC. You can visit her at http://www.thebikinichef.com/

Pear Butter

Makes approximately 4 cups

You will need:
3 ripe d’anjou pears, peeled, cored, and chopped

3 ripe golden delicious apples, peeled, cored, and chopped

1 ½ cups water

2 tablespoons honey



In medium quart boiler over medium heat, combine pears, apples, water, and honey. Bring to a soft boil. Cover and reduce heat to simmer. Simmer for about 15 minutes. Uncover, stir, and continue to simmer another 5 to 7 minutes, until fruit is completely tender.



Working in batches if needed (usually takes 2 batches), puree in food processor until smooth.



Serve immediately with toasted whole wheat bread or other breakfast item or chill overnight and serve as a tasty “butter” over grilled, broiled, baked, or poached chicken breasts, turkey, or with fruits or yogurt.

Recipe reprinted with permission Adams Media, copyright 2010, Substitute Yourself Skinny, author Susan Irby the Bikini Chef

Behind the mask....



This week I reflected on my life as a young wife and mom with two young kids who were two years apart.  I was uncertain, insecure, and the world's greatest masker who unknowingly suffered from Graves' disease (brought on by hyperthyroidism). During this period in my life, I felt the need to do everything and please everyone. Isn't that what moms do? I was never present, never connected and putting everyone before myself was the norm. Only if you looked behind the mask you knew who I was.

During those years, I volunteered for any and everything. It was important to feel needed. Nevermind that I had  a husband and two beautiful kids who needed me. That was not enough. I needed fulfillment. I wore the mask of the perfect wife and mother. Everyone loved me, yet I felt empty. So many friends and family and still I felt alone. I went through the motions and fulfilled my responsibilities as a wife and mom, executing tasks and activities flawlessly, but I never connected.  I was never 'in the moment'.  Most of my busyness was contributed to my overactive thyroid. I could not be still. I was always on the move. I was agitated and initiated many arguments with my spouse and extended family. At times, I was downright mean. An endocrinologist told my husband that this disease causes couples to separate and urged him to support me. Even he didn't recognize who this masked woman was. Counselling was necessary.

Time has passed and now my little ones are teenagers, (one of whom would leave for College next year).  I am grateful that I made it through those tough years. Being a working mom, raising two kids and learning to live with a man who you'll take a lifetime to know, is no easy task. Nevertheless, you can do it. There is no magic pill or perfect solution. You just do it! Go behind the mask and if neccessary, seek counselling.

I no longer wear a mask. It took years, but it's removed. When I'm sad, I cry. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm angry, I talk. I don't scream or shout. I no longer shut down or stay quiet to accomodate the feelings of others. I express my feelings and move on.  I am more empathetic and forgiving. I no longer search for acceptance because I AM ENOUGH!  I've learned to say 'no' when it becomes too much. I place myself  and my family on my priority list.  There's no prize for the busyest mother who wears a mask. However, there is a reward for the mom who is freed from masking, expresses how she feels and connects with those she love.

Stop being the mom who says that her 'kids come first'.  Be the mom who puts herself first. It's not a selfish act, it's about taking care of you so that you can take care of them. When you unravel, so does the family. Trust me, I've unravelled several times. So start turning things around by being honest with yourself and take care of you. Be brave, remove the mask, be balanced and embrace your journey.

Spring into Health....let's get renewed

The Awakening

Most of us believe in a force that's greater than mankind. Whatever that force/energy is for you, tap into it and get renewed. My force or energy is God. Tapping into your force requires meditation and quiet time. Spring is indicative of renewal and rebirth. It's a time to shed bad habits and give birth to good ones.

This time of year (just before Easter) I become reflective and meditative. It is a time when I draw closer to my Creator. We each have separate journeys and it is my hope that I become more disciplined in my relationship with God.  My method of connecting is with prayer and meditation. I  read inspirational writings and biblical verses and reflect upon them. Other times I do affirmations and listen to music that feeds my soul. And those days when my ego is being loud, I try to quiet it by doing all. Whatever you choose, be sure to carve out time in your day to connect with your force.

Commit to making positive changes in your life and experience a 'spiritual awakening'. Be present. Become aware of the earth that surrounds you. Be thankful. Appreciate those that are not like you. Accept differences in others. Allow positive energy to flow through you. Seek the good in others. Connecting with  positive energy that's greater than you contributes to growth and spiritual well being. Practice connecting daily with your positive energy/force. Be meditative, be renewed, be balanced and embrace your journey.

Resources:
http://www.purposedriven.com/

http://www.eckharttolle.com/about/eckhart/

Spring into Health....let's get moving

In case you didn't know, spring is here and  it's time to spring into health! It's time to make that commitment to lead a healthy lifestyle. This season marks a new beginning. The workout plan you've been procrastinating over is calling you. Get up and get moving! You don't need fancy equipment or designer clothing, all you need is a push, some determination and will power.
No time for excuses...get moving. Here are some tips to get you started.

• Stop using the elevator. Use the stairs.
• Busy at work....go for a walk during your lunch break
• join a walking club or create one with friends
• join a gym
• go hiking on the weekend
• blast the music and start dancing while doing chores or dance for fun
• sign up for a class at the local community center
• pop in the workout dvd you bought a year ago
• if you can afford it...get a trainer
• grab your kid's jump rope and start jumping
• get outside and play with your kids

Whatever you do, get moving. Shake the winter blues away and wake up those sleeping endorphins. I promise you'll feel better, you'll be less stressed and you'll be more productive. Exercise is necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I know you can do it! Once you get started, you won't want to stop. The feeling you get is like no other. You'll feel amazing! Take it slow if you haven't done an activity in a while and please check with your doctor before beginning any new exercise routine.

Get your kids involved, they would love the challenge and enjoy the time with you. They might even be your greatest cheerleaders. You'll be giving your family the gift of a healthy lifestyle. So log off your computer embrace your journey, be in balance and get moving!!!

Stay tuned for more Posts on my 'Spring into Health' series


Resources:
http://www.ymca.net/find-your-y/

http://www.fitness.gov/

http://www.activityreg.com/

Happy Anniversary!



Photo credit: Camille Jackson

18 years working in the same space is a long time and it is my hope that I retire there. Apr 8 is my wedding anniversary. Every anniversary is an accomplishment for me. No annual bonus in cash just a peace knowing that my hard work has paid off one more year. Sometimes it feels like I should be paid because the work that's involved is so difficult at times.

Anyone who is married knows that wedded bliss exist for a fleeting moment. Marriage takes committment and a great deal of hard work. At this present moment, I'm in a good place in my relationship...thanks to prayer and counselling.  However, it doesn't mean that we agree on everything or smile and laugh all the time. It means that we know our boundaries and we communicate and express our feelings without me calling him an 'ass'! Now that I'm older, I realize that it's important  to strive for a healthy marriage. A healthy marriage fosters a healthy family, and by extension a healthy community.  It's important that we are an example to our children and share our experiences with our friends.

Research has shown that 50% of marriages end in divorce. So far we've beaten the odds. I've learned a lot about myself and I've become a better me. My life experiences are directly related to the choices I make. I choose to be unselfish and humble and to constantly inject positive energy in all my relationships, my marriage is no exception.  Most importantly, God is at the center and our faith creates an anchor. So as we continue on this journey, I pray that we will be blessed with grace, love and good health. Staying in balance and embracing my journey.

Resources:
http://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/
http://family-marriage-counseling.com/

Flight anxiety....

Photo credit: Associated Press (AP)

I had the opportunity to travel to San Francisco with my daughter this past week and was mortified to learn of the Southwest airlines drama. Yet another incident for this mom to worry about! Suffice it to say on my trip back home my mind was racing. I was thinking about all the things I haven't done and haven't said. Yes, I'm one of those moms...I can have an overactive imagination. After about 40 minutes in flight and a glass of chardonnay I convinced myself that I should not worry about the things I have no control over. Flying is still one of the safest forms of transportation.

Upon my return home I learned that the plane lost part of its roof and that holes were discovered in two other planes. Anxiety began to build up once again. Flying is not one of my favorite pastimes but I love to travel. My work and family schedules require me to fly every month for the next 5 months. This might be a great time for me to return to my yoga classes. Yoga enables me to curb anxiety and gain control of my body and my thoughts through deep breathing exercises.

So if you're like me and tend to have an overactive imagination and some flight anxiety, join a yoga class near you. Practice being present when travelling and maintain positive thoughts. Also, know that airline crews are well trained and experienced and we're in good hands. That's why the Southwest crew successfully landed the Boeing 737 at a military base in Yuma, Arizona. So the next time I travel I'll make sure to use these tips I mentioned and if it fails, a glass of wine should do the trick! Be balanced, embrace your journey and Bon Voyage!  

Guilty of Over-scheduling

When I think back on the years when my teens were younger; I realize that I was guilty of over-scheduling. There was ballet and soccer, basketball and piano, saxaphone and tennis, chess and swimming and others in between.  I was young and influenced by what other parents were doing with their children. I thought that if I kept them busy they'll be happy. I eventually learned that my kids did not need to be kept busy to be happy.

Over-scheduling was so stressful on me that I became resentful and angry when the kiddies were reluctant to participate. I don't do the over scheduling anymore. I do activities that are convenient and fit into the family schedule. It's never perfect, but it works for now. I dont feel guilty because saying no is liberating and it's important for this mum to maintain sanity.  Balancing the activities of three kids is no easy task so it's very important to be fair, but smart.

At this stage in my life, I must do what's convenient. I have a six year old who does not need to do activities all the way across town because it may be highly recommended and reputable. He'll be very happy participating in activities around the corner and down the street from our home. As he gets older, if he loves the activity and requires a greater challenge, we'll review and make a decision then. For now, he's local... very local and will not be participating in more than two (2) activities per season.

My advise to parents who are conflicted with kiddie activities:
Don't compete with other parents because all kids are different.
Do what works for your family.
Do encourage participation in different activities(just not all at once).
Do find out which activity your child loves.
Don't be alarmed if he stops loving it.
Do include your partner or spouse in the decision. Kid activities should be a family decision.

Now that camp season is approaching and activities are in abundance; be prepared, get all involved, embrace the journey and be in balance.